TODASTWD 002 (Photo credit: pennstatelive)

Mojave Rattlesnake, Texas (Photo credit: TomSpinker)

Rattler! (Photo credit: simonov)

HE IS STILL WITH HER…….GO FIGURE!!

Before the trial and while she was still at the apartment with him, they had been fighting/arguing/drinking, I don’t know for sure, she broke his ribs with with either a baseball bat or a tequilla bottle, but he went to the truck in the back of the 4000 sq. ft. garage attached to the apartment, and was putting something in on the passenger side a snake bit him and he thought it was a diamond back rattler, it was not very big.  It was just a “thump”, so when I went over in the morning, she was not there but he said he was bitten but he was okay and not to call 911.  I went home and called anyway.  He was hospitalized, given anti-venom because a Mojave Rattler has two neuro toxins in it, one in the blood and one in the tissues and he ended up in Phoenix where they could treat him better.  It’s been about four months and miraculously he has not had any limbs amputated, and is on the mend, but is dealing with the all the complications of the bite, as well as the bite of the snake he married.  I believe people can be redeemed and she can change, but so far, she is a big liability in his life as well as ours, and has been nothing but trouble for all of us. 

He was found “Not Guilty” at his non jury trial.  They subpoened me, but never called me to the stand.  The first one they called was his wife and after being sworn in, they played the 911 tape.  It started out with a lot of obscenities and when she realized she was talking to the operator she calmed down a little, but was still hysterical.  After questioning her and the officer, the judge said it doesn’t look good for my son, the defendant.  He was divided and was inclined to say he was going to call him guilty, but then his defense attorney asked if he wanted to take the stand and he said “absolutely!”  The officer said she had smelled of alcohol when he testified and he was throwing things at her and calling her names and had damaged the front screen door.  She testified and so did the officer she was at her mother-in-laws house which was 500 feet away and he was keeping her purse and keys locked in the apartment so she could not go see her sister in Sedona, AZ.  When my son testified, he said he was cleaning out the apartment, and was packing all of his stuff as well as his guns to move to Sedona since he was working there, and he was throwing somethings out on the front porch to determine if he should pack them or throw them out or donate them, and as far as throwing them at her or screaming at her……she was 500 feet away, so that is impossible.  Also, he stated that he was keeping her purse and keys so she couldn’t drive because she had been drinking and the officer of the law was trying to give them to her so she could drive,  after he stated she had been drinking.  As a consequence, the Judge said she was a liar at least three times, and it was apparent that the defendant was telling the truth.

In the meantime she has beat him up, given him bruises, almost ran over him, stole his money from his last paycheck, and he always calls me to rescue him.  I won’t allow her at my house or the apartment which is 500 ft away, however she “sneaks” over anyway and it always ends up with stuff broken, or them fighting violently.  She drinks tequilla straight from the bottle according to her husband, and it’s a big bottle as well as other substances that I can only make guesses about.  I obtained a job for her with my niece, so she  was hired, they really liked her and I helped her put the travel trailer on a persons property close to her work, but the travel trailer was not in as good of shape as we had hoped, so she then obtained a room in someones home close to her work.  She talked her husband into coming over to spend the night, but she proceeded to drink while they were having a Bible study there, he started to walk home (60 miles) and she almost ran over him several times, and of course, you know me by now, co-dependant, enabler, or whatever label you want to call me, went after him.  She didn’t show up for her job so my niece gave her a break, then she left for a week, so  she doesn’t have a job now and I’m embarrassed that I asked my niece to hire her.

I believe God has given him favor, he is a believer and has been since he was small, and she is a non-believer.  He has always been with women who do not believe in the Bible, God, or Jesus……mistake no. 1, and I don’t believe God will strive with him forever.  Well God knows what the end is and the beginning, so maybe she will change and they will live happily ever after, wouldn’t that be nice?  He has asked her to go to church and read the Bible with him, but to no avail, she continues to stay on her path of self destruction and take down those who are close to her.

English: A picture of the Chapel of the Holy Cross in Sedona, Arizona near sunset. The chapel appears to rise out of the rock formations characteristic of the area. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Guest in the House (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Who is this person we allowed to live on our property?  My son knew her for 20 years and remained  friends with her throughout both of their divorces and she was always there to talk to.  She was a realtor, had been an executive secretary for a huge corporation.  When he divorced and I brought him here (he’s 48 and she’s 50) to live in our guest house, she  wrote  him telling him how she had loved him all these years.  Long story shorter….she moved here, they got married, went to work together and were quite successful.  In the meantime,  he secured an executive position with a company in the town they were married in about 100 miles away, and it seemed ideal.  That is when her true colors came out.  We thought the alcoholism on his part was the biggest hurdle they had to overcome, but oh no, she turned out to be not only drinking heavily, doing drugs, but appeared to be narcissistic, bi-polar, sociopathic;  I’m not qualified to diagnose anyone, however her actions were shocking!  She had all the descriptions of an alcoholic, isolating him from family and friends, keeping tabs on him, jealousy, rage, and so many others issues.

He had a few days off, so he came home to do some repairs and yard work.  She continued to work here and visit him on weekends.  But while he was here, she  became angrier and out of control.  Arriving home from work, she started screaming obscenities at him, and consequently summoned the police stating things that were not true.   They both went to jail for a “family fight.”  The judge ordered “no contact”, but she continued to go to see him where he worked  He was living at a resort until he could obtain a place for them, but she showed up so much that she lost her job.  He came home from work and she had fallen down the stairs and was painting her blood all over the walls.  She punched him in the eye, tried fighting physically with him, on and on, and he told her to stop or he was going to get fired.  He got fired, now he is back in the guest house.  Who is she, really?

I have been very stressed out, trying to be safe, locking my gate for fear of her doing something irrational, tried to get an order of protection but for some reason the judge denied us.  They are not really renters so we can’t get an eviction notice, and my son is literally afraid of her even though he has always been strong and she only weighs maybe 110 pounds.

Bottom line:  I am holding on to my faith in God, I’m centered, and I have a sense of humor that helps.  Do I get tired and just want it to all go away?  YES

By the way, I would never suggest someone get married right away after a divorce, but I was behind this all the way, much to my shame.  I was saying to my son you can’t get a better combination then a good friend you’ve known  for years, after all you know who she is, right?  How wrong we were.  “Who the “bleep” did he marry?” Of course there is way more to this but I don’t want to turn this into a book.  Please comment at the top of the page.

I am a mother of an alcoholic, and a drug addict, as well as others in the family with various addictions.  This is very personal and takes courage to share with others.  Everytime I speak about it or write about it, I uncover more of my own sins.  This is a good thing……I think.  It feels like I’m bleeding all over the pages as I write.

The article says “it’s hard to be the addict but it’s no easier to be the loved one of an addict”, and that is true for me at least.

I just got back from visiting my daughter in prison.  She is there for sales of drugs, five years flat, she has two and one half years left.  I took her 97 year old grandmother, my mother to visit her, lots of tears of joy.  I asked her if she had something to say on this site and she said, “The state took my life from me so I could get my life back”, so she is grateful for the forced rehab she is receiving.  It has already taken two and one half years for her to say that, and she is still working on forgiving herself, which she states is the most difficult.

My son just went through a DUI and since I’ve been away from him for years, I did not realize he was an alcoholic.  He is and has always been involved with his children, a lucrative profession, and so many good things on his side, but this alcohol addiction is and has been ruining his relationships amongst other things.

As I write this, I feel the same feelings of panic, my heart is beating faster, my sense of helplessness prevails as I relive the many days and sleepless nights praying for a miracle.

Hopefully, next time I will have some input from my daughter.

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