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    2012 - 06.20

     

    I am a mother of an alcoholic, and a drug addict, as well as others in the family with various addictions.  This is very personal and takes courage to share with others.  Everytime I speak about it or write about it, I uncover more of my own sins.  This is a good thing……I think.  It feels like I’m bleeding all over the pages as I write.

    The article says “it’s hard to be the addict but it’s no easier to be the loved one of an addict”, and that is true for me at least.

    I just got back from visiting my daughter in prison.  She is there for sales of drugs, five years flat, she has two and one half years left.  I took her 97 year old grandmother, my mother to visit her, lots of tears of joy.  I asked her if she had something to say on this site and she said, “The state took my life from me so I could get my life back”, so she is grateful for the forced rehab she is receiving.  It has already taken two and one half years for her to say that, and she is still working on forgiving herself, which she states is the most difficult.

    My son just went through a DUI and since I’ve been away from him for years, I did not realize he was an alcoholic.  He is and has always been involved with his children, a lucrative profession, and so many good things on his side, but this alcohol addiction is and has been ruining his relationships amongst other things.

    As I write this, I feel the same feelings of panic, my heart is beating faster, my sense of helplessness prevails as I relive the many days and sleepless nights praying for a miracle.

    Hopefully, next time I will have some input from my daughter.

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